My friend has a killer sense of humor. Don’t be jealous.

Look people, shit has been really crazy at work so it’s hard for me to write much these days! Anyways, nothing is happening that I give a fuck about. I know, I know, you are prolly dragging the site through mud wondering what my intentions are w/ this thing, but rest assured, I have my priorities straight. It is all about me, the world does in fact, revolve around me. I get what I want. All the time. Ok? Good.

For whatever its worth, here is a pic of Jen and John at The Sunset Tower. I know it seems as if this has become the Jen and John Stalkerazzi site, but it’s the first news that popped up. Efficiency is key, folks. Now stop looking as this boring as shit and get back to work. NOW!

I have no idea exactly what the fuck is going on, kids, but these two are either expecting, engaged, or possibly both…

According to WWTDD.com:

just a week after Jen and John Mayer reignited their romance, Jen made her move and asked him to marry her!
After a barrage of romantic e-mails from him, “she said that she’d only take him back if they got married, and he agreed,” says a source. “They both know this is it. She wants to settle down, and finally, so does he. They’ve even talked about having a family, and John said that he couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone but her.”

I dont know and i will do what I can to keep everyone updated!

ok, so this pic is old, but it is Jen and John back in their summer love…reports have surfaced that the two are spending some quality time together again…Awe…..

“The couple, who broke up in August, reconnected last weekend in New York, and were then spotted together in L.A. celebrating Mayer’s 31st birthday on Wednesday night.

The bash was held at the Grand Havana Room, a members-only restaurant and cigar club. ”

More news to add…

Guy Ritchie and Madonna divorce has been officially released. A-Rod was front and center at Madonna’s concert, and Guy Ritchie is now celebrating b/c he is free to date someone who does not look like your dead, dug up grandmother. Jeez, sorry, grandma…i am sure you still look better than the Material Whatever…

It seems as if Tea Leoni and David Duchovny are in the midst of a separation. And kids, it has nothing to do with the affair he had w/ that one young bitch…Apparently the split is caused by Tea’s “text” affair w/ her one time co-star Billy Bob Thornton…who I have met and think is very very creepy! Not to mention the fact that he left (cheated) his 9 mo preggers wife, Laura Dern, for Angelina Jolie…who he also later cheated on after she adopted her first son Maddox. For whatever reason Tea thinks he will change beats the hell out of me…or maybe she just wants to get w/ BBT cuz its apparent that all the hoes he’s been with have moved up the food chain after his hasty escape…Laura Dern to hottie Ben Harper and Angelina Jolie to…oh, what’s his face?

More news on the front line…Angelina and Brad plan to adopt another little fucker after the twins have been around for six months…to give them ample time to get used to life on the go. Six months? For real? So what, are these kids like super human or something? I have been around for a rough 26 years and I still can’t get a handle on the rat race. What is about rich, adopted kids that us middle class, biological, idiots can’t grasp?

And far more depressing than that is that Audrina Patridge, the hooker from The Hills, Makes 130k per episode…that’s a whole lotta blow! Wait, where did that come from…

I am gonna go throw up now.

Looks like plans to announce the divorce of Madonna and Guy Ritchie could happen as soon as today. Apparently these two would like to have the divorce finalized by Christmas…(which is also the same time I will be getting my macbook)…and I understand, kids. Divorce is no fun…especially around the holidays.

Best wishes to both parties. Sad.

And the new MacBooks are out! 13″ of pure divinity…this is why it’s ok to celebrate x-mas…oh, wait, no it’s not.

That’s right kids, 28 year old Holly Madison has officially called off her relationship with 82 year old Hugh Hefner (aka Puffin)!

Care? That shit just don’t seem right anyways.

Last night (or whatever the night is that it was on) singing for the tv show Dancing With the Stars. She is like a rollercoaster with her weight. Hey, don’t yell at me. It’s the truth.

After a four year hiatus, Phish plans some 2009 tour dates…
I will admit, I spent mucho monies and time on these guys…both of which I will never get back…the drugs were good.

The Vermont-bred jam band, which disbanded in 2004, is planning three dates next March in Hampton, Virginia. A notice posted on the band’s Web site says Phish will play March 6, March 7 and March 8, 2009, at the Hampton Coliseum. The Web site says more 2009 dates will be announced later.
(enlarge photo)
In this May 7, 2008 file photo, members of the band Phish, from left, Trey Anastasio, Mike Gordon, Page McConnell and Jon Fishman are honored at the seventh annual Jammy awards at the Theater at Madison Square Garden in New York. (AP Photo/Jason DeCrow, file)

A spokesman for the Coliseum, who wouldn’t give his name, confirmed the booking.