Happy 23rd bday you sorry excuse for cool!

I know he’s like a zillion years old…and actually dead, and many of you have no clue who he is, but look, i don’t make the news, I just report it.

And now really, surprised?

Want the full scoop?  Click here.

Mahalo…

That’s right fuckers, you do have to be a millionaire to shop here.

Oh, shit…

Ain’t that fuckin sweet?

As expected, someone has already called into a Utah radio station saying that LL bought a beer at the store.  You know how we know this is not true?  A beer…now, if the caller said she was stocking up on razors, that would be a different story…Come on people.  If you’re gonna blatantly make up stupid rumors, do better than that.

Yay!  She has perfume…let’s go everyone!

She is such a total brit-wannabe snob and now we can go ahead and just add plain evil onto that title.  BTW, I actually HAVE much worse words for her, but in the event that Chris Martin ever gives me a booty call, I would hate for there to be too much animosity.  The things I do for my men!

I am not trying to start any rumors, but the girl smoking a cig sure does look like Ms. Minnillo….anyone?

Um, I am not certain why everyone is freaking out over this…THEY GAVE HIM A $50 mil/5 YR contract to do that folks.  GET IT?