The Good, the Bad, and the Juicy is not only a space for me to rave about the wonderful ins and outs of this city I call home, but as many of you know, it’s also a community bulletin board in which I express the good, the bad and the juicy about city-wide occurrences. 

A while back I brought to your attention a story about the HEY CUPCAKE! (owner – Wes Hurt) family in Austin bringing a law suit to a Noblesville, Indiana cupcake trailer by the name of The Cupcake Camper.  Apparently, HEY CUPCAKE! has decided to drop suit  because The Cupcake Camper has met many of the requirements set forth by HEY CUPCAKE!.  I have said it once and I will say it again.  How dare HEY CUPCAKE! sue a cupcake trailer in Indiana.  As if there were any possible way that the Inidana trailer was stealing their business.  Who cares if it looks similar, HEY CUPCAKE! should have taken this as a compliment!  It’s not possible for HEY CUPCAKE! to go national with their product because it’s overpriced and tastes like shit.  It’s dried out and sold for $2.50 ea in a boring and sterile store front (the tourists go to the trailer, not the locals).  Who do they think they are?  Not only that, but I personally went in and asked them (very professionally, with letter in hand) for a donation to a community event…they did not even have the decency to call me back or write and decline my request.  HEY CUPCAKE! sucks, people…don’t waste your time or your money.  If you live in Austin and would like to express your feelings about this scum-hole, go ahead and feel free to contact Wes right here!  Better yet, do like me and contact the The Cupcake Camper people and apologize for HEY CUPCAKE!  I am fairly certain that the only thing Mr. Hurt accomplished was more business for the Indiana establishment, and less for his own.  Way to go. 

update:  I went to the Cupcake Trailer’s facebook site, and it’s filled with Austin people expressing their disgust for HEY CUPCAKE!  (FUN!).  AND…sadly, the Indiana establishment has completely done away with their trailer.  Ridiculous.

While we are on the subject of local food trailers and what not, I will bring you the lastest story that has come out of greed.  Amy and Steve Simmons of Amy’s Ice Cream, and Tom Ramsey of Snappy Snacks are trying to tighten the leash on food trailer regulations which could ultimately put the trailers out of business.  You see, while they are certified and regulated, many people open the trailers as a way to serve cheaper food (no overhead) to a wide arrange of customers.  Bypassing “rent” (especially in this town), allows one to focus on the food at hand rather than how they are going to manage to attract customers and pay the bills.

One food trailer, Holy Cocao, responds here.  Let’s also go ahead and mention that Amy’s Ice Cream is wonderful and I hate that I can no longer visit due to this episode, but most importantly, Amy’s is what it is today because the residents of this town have allowed it to become representative of who we are.  We have embraced the idea and overpaid for ice cream for years.  This is how they repay us?  This town loves the food trailers.  Walking around during SXSW this year, the food trailers were a topic amongst many.  So popular indeed, that Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” came here to do a segment on this phenomenom…  Now, I don’t know much about Snappy Snacks other than they have seen a decrease in business and they are not happy.  Snappy Snack mobile vendors, commonly referred to as The Roach Coach, are most seen around construction sites and manual labor hangouts feeding these men and women that get up before any other restaurants are open.  They are most definitely NOT feeding the same crowds that visit the majority of the stationary trailers. I can guarantee you that the Snappy Snacks vending vehicle does not include gourmet doughnuts, cuban sandwhiches, fresh kebabs, or a chicken cone!  Anyways, I will not be going to Amy’s (shame), or purchasing any food from a Snappy Snacks trailer.  Darn. 

I will leave you with these two gems, but know that I will return to speak of the local bad bar antics!  Hint:  I can no longer go to Lala’s either.  Sheesh, Austin, get your shit togethah!

Cheers to good eating and drinking,

GBJ

I was fortunate enough to have a working lunch today with a wonderful woman - at Olivia.  Named, by Bon Appetit Magazine, as one of the Top Ten New Restaurants in America for 2009.

Upon walking in, I was delightfully greeted by a garden at the back of the building.  You know what that means…FRESH! (or at least it’s a good cover-up)  I met a friend who was already there and there was a carafe of cold water on the table ready for my semi-hungover ass to indulge in.  Perfect. 

 

Upon seating, the waiter brought over a small dish of divinely marinated olives.  Red olives too!  My lunch guest had the Seared Tuna and Beautiful Salad ($15) and it looked scrumptious.  Tuna was cooked rare and absolutely perfect.  Had I not been busy stuffing my dang pie hole, I would have tried it.  I had the (not on the menu) Heart of Romaine wedge salad ($7)…complete with heavenly tasso…and the Potato and Leek Vichyssoise ($8).  It was velvetty and creamy and drizzled with a perfect tad of Texas Olive Oil.  Who knew!

The service was pristine, the food outstanding, and the atmosphere rounded out a near perfect lunch escape! 

I hear they have a Brunch menu to rave about.  So, if you’re in the area, GO!

Thank you, Olivia, for such a wonderful experience,

GBJ

Howdy ya’ll! I realize that it has been a while since I promised that review on the Franklin BBQ trailer, so here goes. I have actually been twice now. And mind you, I am not the world’s biggest BBQ fan!

First of all, go only when you have plenty of time to stand in line.  For instance, an hour.  No shit.  Also, go early!  They usually clean house by 1:30.  The first time I went they ran out of everything except brisket…which was good for amigo.  They also ran out of sausage becase the fat fuck in front of us took the last six links.  Amigo told the guy at the window that it was obvious the fat-ass didn’t need anymore sausage.  Sadly, the employee had no response other than a quick glance at the floor.  (True story)  Also, they no longer carry the tempeh frito pie, which is what i went there to try!  BOO!  However, the guys at the counter said that I could request it’s reprise on Yelp because the owner follows religiously.  So, for all you veggies out there, go on and make that request!

You can oder by the pound, plate, or ala cart for all the meat items.  Note, the ribs are the first to go, always.  Both times I visited, they were out.  All the plates are under or $10.  Sides include (very spicy) beans, vinegar-based cole slaw, mayo potato salad, pickled jalepenos ($.35), white bread (racist), pickles and of course, sliced onion.  The sides are purchased by the pint, unless you get a plate, and the latter items are complimentary.  The drinks are semi over-priced, $2 for a Sweet Leaf, and $1 for soda and small bottled water. 

Here’s the kicker…ESPRESSO BBQ SAUCE!!!!!!  It’s homemade and very very tasty!  They also serve the usual sweet, hot, and pork sauces as well. 

If you’re ever in the area and have a couple of extra hours on hand and hungry belly, it’s definitely worth the wait.  Seating is family style around picnic tables, so you are sure to meet some interesting folk.  My favorite part?  Both times I was there it was about 11am and people were already drinking!  It’s BYOB, kids.  Come prepared! 

Happy Hump Day,

GBJ

 

First I will begin by saying that I am newly obsessed with The Great Outdoors Nursery and the cafe that also sits on the property, The Garden District.  I like to go for lunch because it’s right by my office and makes for a mini-vacay in the middle of my otherwise stressful (what a joke) day. 

My first visit was solely with plants in mind.  They have a wonderful selection of natives, herbs, annuals, perennials, statues, pottery, seeds, gifts, organic yard care – you name it!  Not to mention that the staff is positively splendid and knowledgable .

My first visit to the cafe was earlier this week.  I needed some rooting hormone for some rose clippings I acquired over the weekend, and I knew that I also wanted to try the cafe. 

I found the auxin (and subsequently a Spiderwort !!) and headed to the cafe for a vegetarian sandwich – humus, avocado, tomato, lettuce, onion, etc, on a fresh warm roll with provolone cheese.  Best of all?  It had no SPROUTS!  Fuck sprouts!  Salmonella and E.coli?  None for me, thanks!  The sandwich came with tortilla chips and a very fresh salsa and a free iced peach oolong tea – all for $7.10.  Not to mention that St. Edward’s students and staff get 10% off…as we should because we pay out the mother-fuckin nose for that shit!

Anyways, I need lunch today so I am going to go back and try out their self proclaimed “best empanadas in town”.  That’s pretty damn ballsy of them considering they are housed right next door to one of the only Cuban eateries in town.  Ok, maybe not so ballsy as Habana can suck my dick…that shit ain’t real Cuban food.

Also, when I was there earlier this week, the lady in the nursery informed me that they were supposed to be getting in a new shipment of Blue Mist (which attracts mad butterflies – especially the queens, monarchs, and snout nosed varieties) and milkweed, which is yet another bush to attract the flutterbys!  I need more plants like a need a new liver, er, i mean hole in the head, BUT….I just can’t stop myself.  I want to propagate some more too…spread the beauty of mother nature!

Happy “Little Friday”, readers!

xo,

GBJ

Update:  Me and the lunch time gang did indeed revisit the cafe today.  I could not be swayed from the veggie sandwich, but I did manage to try a beef empanada.  Best in town?  Not a chance.  None-the-less, it was good.  A bit too sweet for my liking, as I prefer my meat pockets to be savory, but it was good.  The lunch crowd agreed.  Best empanadas in my book are the empanada trailer that was downtown during SXSW, and Buenos Aires Cafe.  (Don’t get me started on their pasilla pepper/dark chocolate creme brulee…mmmmmm)

One last thing – a review of Franklin BBQ and Antonelli’s Cheese Shop will go live this weekend…I need to find the cord for the camera -> computer transaction.  meh.

A: AUSTIN!  My most favorite “celebrity” chef…i use that term lightly, is in town for a speaking event, a book signing, and he is also filming an episode for his Travel Channel morsel of righteousness, No Reservations!  I saw him speak about two years ago and it was one of the most memorable events of my lifetime…so far.  All twenty six years of my life on this planet.

Anywhoooo, this year his show sold out in two shakes of a lamb’s tail and were subsequently being sold to idiot fans on craigslist for $400…EACH! No fuckin way I’d be getting away with that one. So I decide to sit back and see if I could virtually stalk him with the help of my friend’s and their social networking addictions. (Of which I have zero offense to as I am currently at the office…and blogging)

Last night Tony stopped in at Eastside Kings (a late night Asian fusion trailer with, ah hem, a FULL bar – I fucking love this town), this afternoon he filmed a show at a south Austin food trailer, Gourdough’s Donuts, and tomorrow he is set to eat at newly erected Franklin BBQ.  All trailers!  Austin has a ton of them and they just keep ’em comin…which is fine by me!  I have never been to the places listed above, so I have my work cut out for me!

I made an attempt to go see Anthony film this afternoon.  I had a helluva time driving and looking for the addresses, so after texting a friend for logistical help, and receiving her return text stating that it was packed and there were too many hipsters in line, I suddenly remembered a very memorable moment from SXSW 2010! 

The GLITTERBILLIES , original rap, are Gadi Gaster, a Hebrew/Mexican HOTTIE, and DJ Dylan Camero, equally hot, but I prefer dark meat…and they have two songs that I simply adore…The Riverside Slide and Hipstirs.  Please Please check them out here!

How did we end up here?  Cuz it’s true…..hipters are all over my town!

This past weekend I was in the mood for brunch…on Saturday.  I had heard that Lambert’s BBQ did a fine Saturday brunch, so the bf and I weaved our way through the Austin Farmer’s Market to Lambert’s Downtown Fancy BBQ.  Seems they decided to change things up a bit and offer brunch on Sunday only.  It’s a good thing.

After reading about Lambert’s phenom 26 year old chef, Larry McGuire, we decided to try his latest venture across the street, LaCondesa.  First of all, the decor took me to some fancy mediterranean far off island of Greece.  It was beautiful and soothing and amazing.  The table at the front of the restaurant boasted an assortment of homemade breads and sweet rolls, accompanied by bowls of butter, mexican crema, and an orange and vanilla infused marmalade.  All delicious.  Apparently they like to infuse things.

For brunch I had a BLT, as did my bf.  They came stacked on grilled sourdough and accompanied by a spring salad mix.  Good, but the main highlight of this trip was the drinks.  After all, you can’t do brunch and not imbibe.  Normally, except for that one bottomless mimosa adventure, I would limit myself to a drink.  This time, I had two.  And if you keep reading, you will understand why…

I had:

ALMA BLANCA habanero-infused chinaco blanco
ginger essence, aloe vera-lemongrass syrup, pineapple juice,
fresh corn, hoja de hierba santa, hibiscus-rose-infused salt rim

EL CUBICO whole leaf tobacco-infused sauza hornitos
reposado, navan vanilla liqueur, lemon, grilled pineapple juice,
mezcal essence, volcanic-saffron-infused salt rim

For real, in the latter concoction, they grilled my pineapple juice before putting it in my drink.  Fucking genius!  The Alma Blanca was exactly what I look for in a bloody mary, but it was a little sweet…with a major kick from the habanero infused chinaco blanco (tequila).  And while the other, a tobacco infused tequila, may sound a little odd, it was delicious, exotic, and quit powerful as well.  A divine creation.  And no, it did not taste like  a parliament light.

I suggest a visit to Lambert’s, LaCondesa, and two of McGuire’s upcoming ventures…Perla (opens in April) and the bar above LaCondesa, Malverde.

Good job, lads.

Eat, drink, and be merrier.

GBJ

I like to eat, folks. If you know me, you know that I can eat more chicken cones (Hudson’s On The Bend) than any single being on this or any other planet! So, while I am sitting here at work counting the minutes, I decided to make sure that the cone was in for another appearance this year…AND IT IS! Also, newly added to the list is Aquarelle, the best french restaurant in town!

Never fear, they shall never cease selling the zillion dollar beer, and the most confusing of all beverages for a hot, September music festival…RED WINE! That makes me want to throw up!

Here is a list to get your mouth watering!

See you all next weekend!

Aquarelle Restaurant: Steak N Frit Sandwich, Crawfish Poor boy, Blackpepper French Fries
Austin’s Pizza: Pepperoni Pizza, Cheese Pizza
Boomerang’s Pies: Guinness Steak & Potato, Southwest Chicken, Spinach & Mushroom
Doc Green’s Gourmet Salads: Chicken Caesar Salad, Dr. Fruity Salad, Grilled Veggie Wrap
El Chilito Tacos: Chochinita Pibil Taco, Tinga de Pollo Taco, Bean and Cheese Taco
Hudson’s on the Bend: Hot & Crunchy Fish Cone, Hot& Crunchy Chicken Cone, Hot & Crunchy Avocado Cone, Death by Chocolate
The Original Hoffbrau Steaks: Steak Sandwich, Cheeseburger, Jumbo Hot Dog
Austin’s Best Burgers: Cheeseburger, Veggie Burger, Cheese Fries, Sliced Watermelon
P. Terry’s Burger Stand: Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Chicken Burger, Veggie Burger
Pureheart: Beef and Lamb Gyros, Mediterranean Veggie Gordita, Greek Salad, Turkey Panini
Restaurant Jezebel: Falafel Pita Sandwich, Cold Pasta with black olive pesto, Big’ol Curried potato, Cabbage and Pea Burrito
Roy’s Hawaiian Fusion Restaurant: Hawaiian Style Smoked Turkey Leg, Pulled Kahlua Pork Nachos, Grilled Sausage on a Stick
Saba Blue Water Café: Mahi Mahi Fish Taco (chipotle aoli slaw), Pulled Pork Taco, Chicken & Cheese Flautas, Coconut Plantain Shrimp
Salt Lick Bar-B-Que: Sausage Wrap, Sloppy Nachos, Chopped Brisket Sandwich
Solar Natural Wraps: Falafel Wrap, Hummus Wrap, Chicken Wrap
Stubb’s BBQ: Chopped Beef Sandwich with Fritos, Pulled Pork Sandwich with Fritos, Sliced Brisket Sandwich with Fritos
The Best Wurst: Grilled Sausage Sandwich with Bratwurst, Smoked Pork Italian, or All Beef Country, New York Buttered Salt-Potatoes
Thistle Café: Chicken Chipotle Wrap, Smoked Turkey Wrap, Veggie Wrap
Vespaio Ristorante & Enoteca Vespaio: Housemade Mozzarella, Tomatoes & Basil Pesto, Crispy Calamari with Lemon Aioli, Pork Meatball-Parmesan Hoagie with Melted Mozzarella
Wahoo’s Fish Taco: Blackened Fish or Grilled Chicken Tacos, Fish or Chicken Burrito, Vegetarian Burrito.
Beverages:

Best Lemonade: Fresh Squeezed Lemonade, Fresh Squeezed Strawberry Lemonade, Fresh Squeezed Blueberry Lemonade
Flipnotics Chilled Beverages: Strawberry Smoothie, Mocha Frappe, Iced Coffee
Maine Root Hand Crafted Beverages: Root Beer, Ginger Brew, Prickly Pear Agave Lemonade
Sambazon Acai-Organic Smoothies: Organic Acai Smoothie, Organic Acai Juice, Rio Bowl, Rasta Bowl
Deserts/Snacks:

Amy’s Ice Cream: Ice Cream with assorted toppings
Ben & Jerry’s/Lifeworks: Cherry Garcia ice cream bar, Half Baked ice cream bar, Vanilla ice cream bar
Children of the Kettle Corn: Organic Kettle Corn
nICE CONEz: Shaved Block ice Snow Cones, Snow Cones stuffed with ice cream
Snowie: Regular and All Natural Snow Cones

Bon Apetite, bitches!