F9

To go through relationships rapidly, to be promiscuous.

Derives from Chatroulette, where the F9 key brings another chat-partner up.
Dude 1: “I was thinking of trying to start a long-term devoted relationship with Maria.”

Dude 1: “Not gonna happen. She straight F9s dudes.”

First and foremost, sometimes when I am at work and I feel like I need a little break, I will turn to Post Secret…Some days it makes me smile, and other days, like today, it just makes me cry.  It makes me realize how much sadness, hurt, and heavy hearts walk around me everyday.  I keep reading, it makes me want to be a better person.  When I was in high school there was a kid that sat next to me for two years in Latin…not many people take Latin, so it wasn’t unusual that all four years contained basically the same students…anyways, my sophmore year, his junior year – i had the biggest crush on him.  I looked at him one day (it was Halloween) in class and he just seemed like something was bothering him.  I remember wanting to just say hello, but I was too shy.  There was a big party that night.  The next morning I got to class, everyone was in tears, I looked at his desk and he was not there.  He shot himself after the party the night before.  I know that it’s not my fault that he did that, but to think that I saw something in him…I could tell that he was hurting…and I did nothing.  It was a lesson for a lot of people in many different ways.  I learned that next time I sense someone is sad and lost, I will reach out. 

A friend of mine emailed me today to congratulate me on my recent engagement.  He said, “Well, if your man is as seemingly as irrepressible as you are, then I am sure you make a dynamic duo”.  What the fuck is that supposed to mean?  I am a busy person, yes, I like to get my party on, yes, but I am also a responsible human being.  I work 40 hours a week, I am in grad school, I make sure there is money in the bank and that the bills get paid and the cats get fed….and on and on and on.  No, I don’t like it when someone tells me what to do, and if they do I will most often not do what they say, or do the opposite of what they tell me to do, because there is only one person that has control of me.  ME!  What a novel concept.  Live your life, be a good person, repsect and love the people around you, and follow your own heart and head.  To have control of yourself is the ultimate freedom.

I am so aggravated that I can hardly think of anything to write. I will start by saying that I am semi disgusted (semi) with myself that I even give enough of a fuck to give this asshole any of my time. I believe that the only reason I do, is because a friend of a friend just happened to be in the right place at the right time during all this bullshit, and for his sake, i hope something happens for him!!! Go Trey Go!

So yes, someone (else) is pissed they have to pay taxes…read the story here if you are so inclined, because I am tired of talking about it…just about as tired as I am of paying my taxes.  But come on…he claimed lives of the innocent, people who just showed up to work…the owner, pilot, and bastard that burned his house down…left a son and wife behind…and then flew his little piece of shit plane into a building that could have been filled with people who don’t give two shits about this loser…ugh, I’m so mad.  In Austin?  No one’s safe!

Out of this tragedy there is light.  My BFF has a friend that lives here in Austin that I just met a few weeks ago…a photog, apparently.  He happened to be in just the right spots…and have his camera with him, because his photos are now major staples all over the interweb!  His name is Trey Jones.  You can either google him or look here for a sample of the work he did today!  He went from local to the cover of TIME.com in hours!

Out of every tragedy stems beauty…it’s true.  I wish Trey the best, and if nothing else, his fifteen minutes rose from the ashes of a very unfortunate event.  I spent the majority of my day following which site…The AP/Statesman/Yahoo…his photos would show up on next.  Last I heard, he was celebrating by eating girl scout cookies and sharing them with office-mates.  There are wonderful, beautiful souls left in this crazy world…you don’t even have to look too far to find them, and am comforted by that.

On a much lighter note, and if any of you give a shit – tiger woods plans to make his first, post-turkey-day- mayhem statement tomorrow.  can you say – “publicity stunt”?

Honestly, I could care less what he has to say.  As far as I’m concerned he always has been a weird golf robot alien, and whatever apologies he needs to make should go to his family.  Not the public.  Take your giant pile of gold you greedy leprechaun and move on.  you’re good…as long as you pay your taxes!!!!!!!!

I will start with this lovely little gem I have been visiting for a couple of years…Koriente. The service is always friendly, spot on, beyond pleasant, and the food is nothing less than stellar. Each item is very fresh, made to order, no MSG, and delicious. On a “fat day” I normally lean towards the (amazing) miso soup and the hummus roll. On an evening when I need a good drinking base, I lean towards the Koriente Curry A. It’s absolutely perfect. The iced green tea is to-die-for, and I normally accompany my meal with a black tea and soy milk bubble tea. It’s so cute and fun. If you visit between 6pm and 9pm and order a meal, you get a choice of either a cup of miso soup OR green tea ice cream set atop crushed pistachios and drizzled with fresh honey. Holy shit…I’m hungry!

Best of all, the owners have completely transformed the building and vicinity with the most amazing gardens. Before and after pictures below. Go eat there. ASAP.

The next fabulous morsel on the list is a newly renovated, renamed, remodeled, re-everythinged Rio’s Brazilian Cafe on the east side at the intersection of E. 5th street and Pleasant Valley (Looks like Capital Metro has something positive going for them). It was a taco shack (and I mean that in all senses of the word) previously that advertised a $.79 breakfast taco. Um, I can’t even get anything from McDonald’s for that cheap…I stayed away. Much to my amusement and pleasure, I accepted a lunch invite to the new and improved venue from a friend last week. I enjoyed it thoroughly. While I am by no means a vegetarian I normally do eat veggie while I am dining outside of my home. Frankly, meat is scary…especially in “cultural” cuisine…that is, if you call it cultural.

I had to try as much as I could because that’s how Fat Mommy rolls. I started off with the Leblon salad. A concoction of epic porportions such as black-eyed peas, tomatoes, spinach, corn, peaches, apples and olives in a white wine vinaigrette. I then had the soy chorizo sausage empadao (equivalent to the more recognized empanada) and the spinach & ricotta pastel…also more or less an empanada. My dining pal had the cheese bread trio of which I sampled. They are indeed belly bombs in comaparison to the liter fare on le menu, but delightful none-the-less.

The interior, though small (at a meager 5 tables and a couch) is simply a charm to enjoy a deliscious and comfortable meal, and as soon as it ceases to rain up in this bitch, I plan to return and sit on the patio. Nothing like the exhaust from (Un) Pleasant Valley to glorify your delicious meal.

Anyways, just go…to both of these places. Trust me!

I actually am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. I believe that every day is a good day to love, nurture, and care for those near and dear to your heart. Being a good person on Valentine’s Day does not earn you any brownie points, my friend.

However, for the sake of this post, I will conform – just a bit.

To my fiance – You make me laugh. I never dreamed life could be so happy. You help me to make myself a better person and you encourage me to see all the beauty in the all world. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, and as I have always said, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.  If I had to do it all over again,  I most certainly would.  As a point of reference, I love you more than I love cheese!  It’s twue.

To my friends – You each show me strength in many many ways and encourage me to extend my horizons and erase my mental boundaries. You are all so talented and beautiful. I feel your warmth and love always, even when you are not near.

To my parents – a) I love you both very very much and am so thankful to have such caring, wonderful people in my life. b) Thank you endlessly for your eternal guidance and support. To know that there are at least two people in this world that believe in you 100% is precious.

To my brother – I am sorry that we no longer speak and I do hope that that changes someday. I always have and always will love you with all my being. I wish you only sunshine, peace and a happy heart.

To the Travel Channel – Thank you for picking up “No Reservations” when The Food Netword couldn’t hang.

I am one lucky girl – many hugs and kisses to you all – you each make up a part of who I am and who I aspire to be.

xoxoxoxoxox,

GBJ

I will begin by saying that I want to thank my mom for bringing me into this beautiful (mostly) world and my dad (really my step-dad, but he’s the only one that counts) for putting up with my bull shit for so long.  Both of you deserve major applause for this, what I am sure to be, one giant feat.

I am aquarius, but not through and through.  As my bday sits on the cusp of capricorn, I find that I resemble many of those traits as well.  However, I do admit to being a realist, seriously motivated, and a big giant bitch.  I’ll tell you like I think you should hear it, and I much pretty shut down on the recip!   

On my 27th bday all I did was cry.  (that was actually the day of my first enagagement…not exactly related…i dont think)  When I turned 30 I rejoiced.  They are “the” years, right?  And today, as I turn 29, I must say, I feel fabulous!  I have a life ahead of me that is filled with kindness, warmth, love, happiness, and excitement.  I am engaged to the amigo of my dreams and my friends and family are the fucking coolest people on this earth. 

Now, that was the sweet capricorn side of me…it’s time to let the aquarian in me weave some reality back into this world. 

On my way into the office this morning I picked up a copy of the latest US magazine.  Yes, I even read it in its entirety (it’s 10am).  Kate Gosselin says that she “hates” her $7k hair extensions.  Um, well yeah.  Why anyone would get them in the first place (minus Brittney – she needed them) is beyond me.  She thinks they look damaged and fried.  Yes, indeed they are.  IT’S FAKE HAIR, you silly honky!

Ok, next on the list is heiress Casey Johnson.  She died!  Her “several day-old” corpse was found in a friend’s home in LA on January 2, 2010.  The article explains that she lived a life of regret becasue she never broke into the industry as pals Paris, Nicole, and the likes.  She was however engaged to bi-sexual reality tv stat Tila Tequila for a hot minute.  Basically, what I am saying here is that, no…if your body is not found for several days after your death, and people are just now reading about it 19 days later…you were pretty far from fame.  Apparently you were so un-famous that your own friends and family didn’t realized you went AWOL.  Oopsie…maybe you can try again in the after-life.

Next, all I have to say is that I thinking about all of those in Haiti, what I am going to buy at the mall today, and most of all, how badly my hangover could be tomorrow. 

Cheers – Spread the love, kids…

GBJ

oy vei!  this place is one hot mess!  i have been waiting for a really long time to post about it because i felt really bad about what is about to go down in this post…sorry, simplicity, but you deserve it… 

me and my girl went there a little bit ago to check it out.  i had noticed it pop up in the hood, and i like to check out new frontiers…even if to merely mock them.  all the better.

concept is stellar, for the most part.  a fabulous selection of spanish and argentian wines (besos), and tapas that all ring in under $4.  sounds pretty right on, yeah?  so, we order – all tapas are served in 3-4 oz servings…which is enough for two to share – a few testers and get down to business.  the garbanzo bean thing?  NASTY.  it was cold.  the cheese plate?  yeah, anytime you set a piece of manchego in front of my pie hole, i’ll swoon.  however…everything was served on paper plates, with paper spoons (like those that come with the trial size blue bell things), and the presentation was simply atrocious at best.  i had to ask the wait person what the hell was up and she informed me that they use “corn” based plates and eating-ware as to conserve water (from not doing dishes) and therefore substantialize on the name “simplicity”.  i was semi beside myself.  i love the idea, but it’s simply not what i expect when i spend $50 on tapas and wine.  also, i began to think after we left…my wine glass was glass, and it needs to be washed.  does it not get washed?  not sure.  if you dare to go there after this post…please ask them and let me know.

simplicity…i tried to like you.  i tried to embrace you.  i really did.  you lost the battle…fair and square.

with a sad (but very green) heart,

GBJ

ps, on a lighter note: me and some homies are gonna try JUSTINE’S on wednesday.  a new little french bistro that opened up on the east side.  the menu looks heavenly, with an atmosphere to boot.  i’ll let you know how it goes.

here, look…yum, huh?  Justine‘s

The “old” Kate Gosselin had a pretty awful, yet coveted, do…

After eight little fuckers and a (much needed) divorce from her (Ed Hardy, Micheal Lohan – admiring), ex…Kate has managed to re-invent herself. Yes, she looks better, but no, if my ex-husband ever dated someone younger than myself, I would never try to copy her hairstyle…you’ve crossed the line, sister.

Thanks to a very genuine Dave…I will keep up my writing. I was never under the impression that anyone ever read or gave a shit about the jargon swirling around in my noggy-noggin…xo Dave and Monica (hope i can measure up)

Alrightie kids!  Happy 2010…I am going to go ahead and let you all in on my faves of 2009.  Following is a list of all things that kept me from doing any actual work this past year.  (What makes it even better, is I work for the public sector…hee hee) 

Best Blogs of 2009…

SoLikeYeah – These ladies have it goin on!  I am not only saying that because I know them and like them, but because they absolutely deserve it.  One of the best entries ever is their Fun Fun Fun fest antics.  Go read it now!

POST SECRET -   This gem is basically the car accident that you must stare at as you pass.  I really want to send something in, but I can’t think of anything nice to say, and my secrets really aren’t all that great. 

Texts From Last Night -  I know, old news.  I have actually already written about it myself.  It’s just a no-brainer.

Shit My Dad Says - You can also follow via Twitter…if you really do that.

Austin Surreal - One awesome son of a bitch reppin his town!

The CDs that I could not take off “repeat”…and no, they are not all new, but rather re-introduced.  Good music can do that. 

The Kingsbury Manx - Ascenseur Ouvert

The Gary - CHUB

The Great Nostalgic - self titled

Brother JT - Jelly Roll Gospel

The Clean - Mister POP

Baby Robots - Probably Portions and Fortunes

Start with these beauties, children…tomorrow will be a list of 2009 dislikes, and I will try to keep it positive.  TRY.

GBJ