Ok kids. I was talking w/ bf the other day and he suggested that I recap the restaurant reviews that I have posted so far. While I love to give props to those institutions that I love, I like to keep the devil close when I revisit the establishments that pissed me off…so here goes…

I will start with the BAD list…

Primizie Osteria, Austin, Texas…the atmosphere blew, the food sucked, and the service was as cold as my grammy six feet under. Wait she was cremated, anyways, you catch my drift…

Ave. B Grocery Store and Sandwich Shop…the guys that owns this is a fucking cock face. Unfortunately, his food is the shit, but I will never return. EVER!

Bossa Nova - UGH! I don’t even know where to begin. However, I saw the asshole that I refer to in this entry at the local corner store…it was night and that douche bag still had on his sunglasses…and he informed us that he now works at the coffee shop right next to my house (Quack’s, which BF and I refer to as Wack’s, cuz it sucks dick as well). So, in the defense of the very sweet owner of Bossa Nova, I will go back and give it a shot knowing that the fucker that makes me want to hurl with every breath he takes is gone! One step forward for Bossa Nova.

The GOOD list!

Lambert’s Fancy Downtown BBQ - There is not enough positive things I can say about this place. Beyond the amazing music that plays, the historic building, and the calm of being off 6th Street, the food is to die for. On a recent trip in, I had the skirt steak served with a hot Cholula butter…hold on kids, that one will blow you right over!

I also suggest that you try The Little Deli on Woodrow, possibly the best sandwich in town! Another one of my faves is The Blue Dahlia for a bistro style setting…amazing, organic, and local!

Bon Apetite, fuckers!

Alright, I can’t find a pic that does not have a copyright on it, so until I can go and take one myself, you guys will have to figure out where to find it. I will give you a clue: it’s on the east side of Austin, Tx, it’s called Primzie, and it’s an Osteria, good luck.

Ok, so my co-worker told me that I, infact, should not go to this place when I told him that I was interested. I am fairly certain that my boy eats Menudo, so, of course, I totally ignored him, and I go. Sorry Lil G, you were correct indeed.

I look at the menu and know what I am having. The goat cheese and scallion filled ravioli with a black olive and browned butter sauce. Sounds delightful, yes? WRONG! The pasta tasted and felt like it had been sitting in the fridge since WWII, and the olive butter sauce was nothing more than some black olives crushed up in unsalted butter. It was swimming in the miserable shit. No merriment of flavors. It was supposed to be sick, it sounded that way. It was the most awful Italian dish I have ever had in Austin! Hands down!

Bf had some sort of shrimp bullshit, I forgot what it’s called b/c shrimp sux unless it’s fried…(i am a louisiana latina)…it was actually some sort of white wine sauce or something…the first bite was not too bad, even though the garlic bread it came with looked like naan, I must have been hungry.

On the second bite, holy salty sauce…obsurdity at it’s finest, and, it was hella loaded with what had to have been white clam sauce from a can, because plain and simple, it was fucking nasty.

There were maybe ten tables in the joint that holds ~30-40 or so, and it took for-fucking-ever to get that shit. And that is exactly what it was, shit.

If I were you, go across the street to The Blue Dahlia. I have zero affiliation. My only vested interest is that I like food and I respect the internal workings of my readers.

Bon Apetite!