I am going to be honest here….I DO NOT like nor do I trust Asian cuisine, I just don’t.  I can’t be diggin’ on a place that hangs naked ducks in the windows (Enticement?  I don’t think so.) or on a cuisine that insists on showering everything on the menu in fish sauce!

I’ve had my eye on Pho Dan since moving to our new neighborhood about 6 months ago.  Occassionally perusing the Yelp reviews, keeping my ears open for any mention of the name, and most importantly keeping my eyes peeled when I drive by (because sometimes you can judge a book by it’s cover!).

Flanked by a wall of windows and a bright, cheery modern, hotel-esque interior, Pho Dan looks clean, it smells clean, and most importantly, the food on the tables is all recognizable (for the most part).  In my book, that’s a good start for an Asian establishment, and trust me, I’ve walked out at this point. 

We ended up ordering our food to go, which proved ok because it was delicious by the time we got it home.  I had the tofu spring rolls (2.5) which were fresh and crisp and came with a homemade peanut and a homemade red pepper sauce.  The rice paper was delicate and firm and fresh and all of the interior ingredients were equally satisfying.  Amigo had the veggie egg rolls (2.7) which were fried to a perfect, crispy light brown and served with a light, homemade carrot/sweet and sour sauce.  For dinner we each had the vegan, tofu noodle soup (small – 5.2, large – 6.2).  The noodles were perfectly steamed, not clumpy, and the vegetable broth was clear, fresh, and smelled fresh rather than canned.  The tofu was seared golden brown and came with a side of mixed white onion and cilantro, bean sprouts, and thai basil.  One serving is enough for three meals for me, and probably two for the average male. 

Other positives;

Delicious Jasmine Iced Tea

Clean & Well Equipped Restrooms

Easy parking

We had a crew of seven and rolled in at 10:20 pm to a not-so-welcoming HOUR wait.  Justine’s will however, accept reservations, but only for parties over six, and at the time, we were unaware that we would have enough asses to fill that many seats.

I started my meal off with a cold garlic soup…light, creamy, velvetty smooth and FULL of garlicy punch. It was one of the best soups I have ever had – next to the vichyssoise at Olivia.

For the entree I had the steak frites…yes, that’s correct, steak and fries. If you have ever been to Paris, you know that meat and fries are not only a staple, but also a tradition – and that the French do a far superior job with the potato than the American’s. (so basically, if you EVER call it a freedom fry, that simply renders you an ill-cultured, static and stale American…gross) True to form, the steak was tasty tasty and cooked to perfection, the fries were all French – perfectly crisp on the outside, steaming hot and soft on the inside, and salted by Aphrodite herself. Amigo passed on the appetizer and decided to head straight into his main course – The Fillet de Poisson, a light and fresh filet of snapper served in a buerre blanc alongside haricots verts. His fish was tender and moist and anything served in a good buerre blanc is simply to-die -or. Justine’s hit the nail on the head with this dinner.

The food was so delicious, I refuse to complain about the hour wait and the endless hipsters who over crowded this, my new favorite, east-side haunt. 

Go early, have a Hendrick’s (it’s hard to find in this town) martini, play some Bocce Ball in the courtyard, and prepare yourself for one of the most divine meals to be had in our fine city.  I think it’s better than Aquarelle – and I knew thought I’d ever say that!

Papa Bear, start saving that scratch – you’re takin mama to Justine’s for her birthday…

Justine’s – open 6pm – 2am (dinner served until 1:30am)

Closed on Tuesdays

Reservations accepted for parties larger than six

Plenty of people!!!! And this is only one reason why…

WHAT. THE. FUCK?  She stands for everything that I don’t.  And not only that, but she is a bigger idiot than George W.  (and who even knew that that was remotely possible)?  I am at a loss for words.  Separate church and state and let the people think for themselves!  PS, wasnt this asshole the one that was touting abstinence until marriage…and then her slut daughter ends up pregnant and in school AND UNWED????  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Someone DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not to mention that this bumper sticker was spotted on a car in Austin.  AUSTIN is supposed to be the best place in Texas…whoever you are, you are tainting us!  I should have keyed the shit out of this car!  Where’s Craig when you need him?

Ok, here we go…there is a small neighborhood grocery store in Austin, Texas called Avenue B Grocery. They had the phatest, most rad sandwiches in all the town. About a year or so ago, I tried to take some friends with me there to eat so they could experience the shear delight that I had been experiencing for years…to my surprise, the store was still there, but it was never open. And when I say never open, I mean, it was never open. It was the weirdest thing.

So a few weeks ago I took my friend James back, the sign said open, I was stoked! We walk in the doors to find that the store was open but the “deli” part of the store was out of; all meats, 75% of their bread variety, and several veggies. Basically, if you were in the mood for a grilled, gov’t cheese sandwich on Wonder bread, you were in luck. We left…I promised James that we would return and…HE WOULD FUCKING L-O-V-E it…

and we did…and he did…
So I decided that it was time to take bf there…he is a lover of the ultimate sandwich…and this is where it gets ugly…

We walk into the store, confusingly order our shit, grab some chips and drink, just as I had in the past, and sit back near the counter and wait for our food. I see bf open his drink and take a sip…it looks refreshing , I do the same. I take a swig, twist the cap back on, and am suddenly shaken into reality by a mid-aged man’s voice saying, “MA’AAAAAAAM”…He just called me…gasp…ma’am…I politely said, “yes”, and he retorts…”We do not consume drinks in this establishment until they have been paid for and have exited the property”…I was shocked. I said, “ok”, put the cap back on and went to the cash register while he was mumbling something about an antique. If you have ever been in this store before, you know that the whole-fucking-thing-is-one-giant-antique…and it is. He decides to “do us a favor and ring us up b/c we “must be in a hurry to get outside and enjoy the day”…and we were. So we go up to the counter, he tells me sorry for yelling, but “our customers need to be trained just like our employees”…WTF? yes, i swear, he did say that…and he kept going. I was ready to throw in the towel and eat my sandwich, but then he goes on about how I could spill on his antiques…I politely told him that I was 32 and for as far as I know have been out of the “spilling” stage for several years now…he tells me that that is why they are called “accidents”.

See where I am going with this? This guy is a total fucking dirty bag of the big ‘ol D! I wanted, and I had, something very crass and rude to say to him at this point, but my mom is still alive and I would never say those things I was thinking as long as she lived on this earth. (except I did tell bf, but he would never repeat)
Anyways, the moral to the story is that the man that owns Avenue B grocery store, in Hyde Park, in Austin, Texas, has been in jail for the last year b/c of child pornography that was found in his ice cream cooler in the store, and if you ever dare to buy a drink from his establishment…DRINK THAT SHIT OUTSIDE!

boycot list for sure…and, yes, you had to be there!

Dear Mr. Owner,

If you ever read this…YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK!

love always,

GBJ

GBJ disclaimer…ok, so it may not be true about the child porn in the freezer, but I  do know that my girl, G,  used to call him to Hyde Park rapist.  We don’t know if he ever raped anyone, actually, we know nothing about him…all we do know is that he is not “right”…we’re just try’n to have a little fun here.  BACK THE FUCK OFF!