That’s right.  Rather than curing cancer, bottling unicorn serum, sending search teams to find the next double rainbow, or burning every Princess Bride movie that still exists, our government is paying people to research the effects of cocaine on a quail’s sex drive.

All the while, I know people who would have done it for free!  Thank you, government, I am so thankful you are putting my tax dollars toward a cause that will benefit me some day.

And, while we are on the topic (so it doesn’t seem so naughty and taboo):

90% of all US currency bills have cocaine residue on them…but wait, I thought that was just little Johnny’s ADD acting up again!

Common Street Names:  Coke, Dust, Toot, Line, Nose Candy, Snow. Sneeze, Powder, Girl, White Pony, Flake, C, The Lady, Cain, Neurocain, Rock, Crack

It’s true – at one time cocaine was an ingredient in Coca-Cola

GGOOOOAAAAL – Columbian’s (go figure) were caught making World Cup replicas out of the white stuff…hrrmmmmmm

This is so much fun I wish I didn’t have to stop, but it’s about time to head home!

However, kids, if you’re ever in the bathroom and feel the urge to get a little high, DON’T ask for a toot.  Ok?  This will just make you look like a nerd, I promise.

Happy quails to you,

GBJ

Yes, that’s right, recently the tween fashion house reported that they were going to begin pimping their own line of maternity wear.  MATERNITY WEAR?  Need I go further?

With more and more medical innovations that tell us surprising amounts of information about unborn children, the medical ethics of prenatal drugs become significantly complicated. It seems unproblematic to allow couples to see what gender their child will be, but what happens when pregnant women are informed that their children may have congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), a group of inherited disorders of the adrenal gland? Drugs like the steroid dexamethasone are often prescribed for CAH, which can cause faulty adrenal glands and early signs of puberty in boys, and “ambiguous” genitalia and “masculine” tendencies in girls. Some are rightfully challenging the use of this drug, calling its necessity and dubious motivations into question. And much of the reason women are taking it appears to be because of the associations between “masculine” women and homosexuality — whether or not they are doing so consciously, the people who take the drug seem very clearly to want straight, feminine daughters, to the point where they’ll take an experimental drug to get the desired result.

The problematic elements are clear: women are taking dexamethasone (dex) because they are afraid of the “psychosocial problems associated with having ambiguous genitalia” (and here I’m quoting Time), as well as the threat of same-sex attraction, which is less explicitly addressed in the article but is clearly one of the main issues for the people who are prescribing and taking dex. Regardless of whether CAH can actually influence sexual orientation, the anxiety is reflective of fear of traits that blur gender lines. Girls with CAH do not exhibit traditionally feminine traits; they behave “tomboyishly” and do not express the same interest in motherhood. Dex can, essentially, create feminine children who will exhibit “normal” sexual orientations, as well as (and this is pretty shocking) de-masculinize “peer association, career and leisure time preferences in adolescence and adulthood.” Yes – this is implying “masculine” and “feminine” career paths, and suggesting that this drug can push girls toward the correct, feminine track.

I don’t know where to start with this. First of all, the idea of ambiguous genitalia being a problem has led, in the United States, to a shocking number of “corrective” surgeries on infants that, to my mind, seems not far off from the practice that in other countries we call “genital mutilation.” But here’s the kicker: the drug doesn’t cure CAH, and many women who take the drug are shocked to discover the ethical controversy, mostly centered around informed consent, that surrounds the drug. New York doctor Maria New has been leading in prescribing the drug, but her methods are extremely ethically dubious.

The impetus to prescribe and take dex is, clearly, spurred by a severe anxiety about the idea of giving birth to daughters who, whether or not they are lesbians, blur gender boundaries and challenge traditional conceptions of what is masculine and feminine. The solution, though, is not to take an unnecessary drug, but to rethink the way we deal with gender so that “masculine” daughters with “ambiguous genitalia” are no longer such a source of fear that women will take an experimental, off-label drug to “cure” them.

Read more: health policy, pregnant women, experimental drugs, gender anxiety

It’s no joke, kids…amigo and I like to get our food on!  Last night, my sweet man escorted me to see my foodie idol, Anthony Bourdain.  Now, I have seen him once before, this time in much better company, and he was great then as well, however, I do believe that I now have a much better understanding of him and what his food and his travels mean to him.  He knows his shit!  He applauded Bobby Flay, saying that he feels sorry for him because he is the food channel clown.  Flay keeps the network running while they pimp him out around the country doing “Throw Down with Bobby Flay”.  He’s right.  He says that vegetarian foodies have no right to travel and host food shows…I think he was pointing at YOU, Gwyneth Paltrow.  He has always touted Rachael Ray as being obnoxious – she is, and he claims the worst thing he has ever eaten in a Chicken McNugget.  (Brief tidbit:  In my house, we call Chicken McNuggets chicken boots, or chicken wheels.  Ever notice how every other nugget is shaped the same?  In a boot or in a wheel!  It makes me laugh…)  I wonder what the lawyers of McDonald’s would do if they heard Tony say that?  I guess nothing much, it’s not like the people who eat that shit have enough intelligence to comprehend the Travel Channel anyways.  Ps, Did you know that there are 38 ingredients in a McDonald’s Chicken McNugget?  That’s just plain fuckin wrong!   

Anyways, since being early to the show was priority for me, amigo and I decided to hit Hickory Street Bar and Grill for dinner.  MISTAKE!  This piece of shit is an Austin landmark…what the fuck for I can’t figure out, but it is.  I have been before for drinks on the patio, but that’s it.  The service was feeble, there was no salt on the table until my meal was nearly over, there were flies in the salad bar, and amigo’s cheesesteak that he ordered took FOREVER!  My drink was watered down, my lime was dry and barren and my baked potato was not cooked through and it was cold.  They pride themselves on this salad/soup/potato bar, so I went for it (I know, I know – budget world!).  Other than the fact that I was able to begin stuffing my pie hole immediately, there was not one shining moment for this disaster area.  Ground Zero.

From Hickory Street, we went to the Paramount Theater to pick up our tickets and realized we still had an hour to spare before the show.  We decided to pop into Austin’s oldest and most beautiful hotel, The Driskill, for a drink at their very fine bar.  The keeper was Scottish and supremely professional, and he knew how to make an excellent drink.  Hendrick’s and tonic with a lime, thank you.  We received our drinks and decided we would take a self-guided tour around the hotel.  AMAZING.  Amigo and I have vowed to go back for dinner…SOON! 

Anyways, the moral of the story, folks?  Go see Anthony Bourdain any chance you get, it was well worth my $10, DO NOT eat at Hickory Street Bar and Grill in Austin, Texas, and don’t even think about eating a chicken nugget, not even with a stranger’s mouth!  Finally, marry your partner if they like sharing moments like these with you.  Eating and drinking and laughing is such a wonderful way to live life!

That’s right girls and boys, now that “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” are filing for bankruptcy and the show is moving to Houston to film the southern girls and their mad bling and awful accents, and “Jon and Kate + Eight” is now just “Kate + Eight” (I’d rather stab myself in the eye), TLC is forced to come up with their next smashing success.  What did they choose?  Why, of course, they chose to film the lives of competitive, EXTREME dog (mainly poodle) groomers. 

Well, ok, I guess.  Whatever.  This is not my reality, but  I am sure there are some women in Palm Springs and Boca Raton that are gonna eat this shit up…and follow suit!

Ps, I am in the wrong business, kids.

The Good, the Bad, and the Juicy is not only a space for me to rave about the wonderful ins and outs of this city I call home, but as many of you know, it’s also a community bulletin board in which I express the good, the bad and the juicy about city-wide occurrences. 

A while back I brought to your attention a story about the HEY CUPCAKE! (owner – Wes Hurt) family in Austin bringing a law suit to a Noblesville, Indiana cupcake trailer by the name of The Cupcake Camper.  Apparently, HEY CUPCAKE! has decided to drop suit  because The Cupcake Camper has met many of the requirements set forth by HEY CUPCAKE!.  I have said it once and I will say it again.  How dare HEY CUPCAKE! sue a cupcake trailer in Indiana.  As if there were any possible way that the Inidana trailer was stealing their business.  Who cares if it looks similar, HEY CUPCAKE! should have taken this as a compliment!  It’s not possible for HEY CUPCAKE! to go national with their product because it’s overpriced and tastes like shit.  It’s dried out and sold for $2.50 ea in a boring and sterile store front (the tourists go to the trailer, not the locals).  Who do they think they are?  Not only that, but I personally went in and asked them (very professionally, with letter in hand) for a donation to a community event…they did not even have the decency to call me back or write and decline my request.  HEY CUPCAKE! sucks, people…don’t waste your time or your money.  If you live in Austin and would like to express your feelings about this scum-hole, go ahead and feel free to contact Wes right here!  Better yet, do like me and contact the The Cupcake Camper people and apologize for HEY CUPCAKE!  I am fairly certain that the only thing Mr. Hurt accomplished was more business for the Indiana establishment, and less for his own.  Way to go. 

update:  I went to the Cupcake Trailer’s facebook site, and it’s filled with Austin people expressing their disgust for HEY CUPCAKE!  (FUN!).  AND…sadly, the Indiana establishment has completely done away with their trailer.  Ridiculous.

While we are on the subject of local food trailers and what not, I will bring you the lastest story that has come out of greed.  Amy and Steve Simmons of Amy’s Ice Cream, and Tom Ramsey of Snappy Snacks are trying to tighten the leash on food trailer regulations which could ultimately put the trailers out of business.  You see, while they are certified and regulated, many people open the trailers as a way to serve cheaper food (no overhead) to a wide arrange of customers.  Bypassing “rent” (especially in this town), allows one to focus on the food at hand rather than how they are going to manage to attract customers and pay the bills.

One food trailer, Holy Cocao, responds here.  Let’s also go ahead and mention that Amy’s Ice Cream is wonderful and I hate that I can no longer visit due to this episode, but most importantly, Amy’s is what it is today because the residents of this town have allowed it to become representative of who we are.  We have embraced the idea and overpaid for ice cream for years.  This is how they repay us?  This town loves the food trailers.  Walking around during SXSW this year, the food trailers were a topic amongst many.  So popular indeed, that Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” came here to do a segment on this phenomenom…  Now, I don’t know much about Snappy Snacks other than they have seen a decrease in business and they are not happy.  Snappy Snack mobile vendors, commonly referred to as The Roach Coach, are most seen around construction sites and manual labor hangouts feeding these men and women that get up before any other restaurants are open.  They are most definitely NOT feeding the same crowds that visit the majority of the stationary trailers. I can guarantee you that the Snappy Snacks vending vehicle does not include gourmet doughnuts, cuban sandwhiches, fresh kebabs, or a chicken cone!  Anyways, I will not be going to Amy’s (shame), or purchasing any food from a Snappy Snacks trailer.  Darn. 

I will leave you with these two gems, but know that I will return to speak of the local bad bar antics!  Hint:  I can no longer go to Lala’s either.  Sheesh, Austin, get your shit togethah!

Cheers to good eating and drinking,

GBJ

And in comes the damage control from BP Oil.  According to this article, the oil giant is trying  to pay off fishermen so they will not sue.  Of course they are.  And for anyone out there with any business sense what-so-ever, it makes sense.  It happens all the time.  

Come on people…why are you so surprised?  Of course they would try this scheme first.  the looming lawsuits could (and most likely, would) bankrupt them.  Duh.  And while I  do believe that there should have been more planning and DEFINITELY a crisis plan – the real people to blame our ourselves. 

We don’t want to be dependent on oil from the Middle East, we cant drill in Alaska, and now everyone is going to be against drilling in the Gulf.  Yet we still fly all over the world, drive single passenger cars to work, dismiss (Austin’s shitty) public transportation, and use petroleum in a plethora of other ways. 

How about everyone just go ahead and shut the fuck up and walk/ride your bike, stop wearing clothes, painting, purchasing and having records made, and stop using photographic films.  No?  Ok then, how about we go ahead stop fucking bitching and donate your time and energy to FIXING THE problem!  shit, people – for real…

I was fortunate enough to have a working lunch today with a wonderful woman - at Olivia.  Named, by Bon Appetit Magazine, as one of the Top Ten New Restaurants in America for 2009.

Upon walking in, I was delightfully greeted by a garden at the back of the building.  You know what that means…FRESH! (or at least it’s a good cover-up)  I met a friend who was already there and there was a carafe of cold water on the table ready for my semi-hungover ass to indulge in.  Perfect. 

 

Upon seating, the waiter brought over a small dish of divinely marinated olives.  Red olives too!  My lunch guest had the Seared Tuna and Beautiful Salad ($15) and it looked scrumptious.  Tuna was cooked rare and absolutely perfect.  Had I not been busy stuffing my dang pie hole, I would have tried it.  I had the (not on the menu) Heart of Romaine wedge salad ($7)…complete with heavenly tasso…and the Potato and Leek Vichyssoise ($8).  It was velvetty and creamy and drizzled with a perfect tad of Texas Olive Oil.  Who knew!

The service was pristine, the food outstanding, and the atmosphere rounded out a near perfect lunch escape! 

I hear they have a Brunch menu to rave about.  So, if you’re in the area, GO!

Thank you, Olivia, for such a wonderful experience,

GBJ

Howdy ya’ll! I realize that it has been a while since I promised that review on the Franklin BBQ trailer, so here goes. I have actually been twice now. And mind you, I am not the world’s biggest BBQ fan!

First of all, go only when you have plenty of time to stand in line.  For instance, an hour.  No shit.  Also, go early!  They usually clean house by 1:30.  The first time I went they ran out of everything except brisket…which was good for amigo.  They also ran out of sausage becase the fat fuck in front of us took the last six links.  Amigo told the guy at the window that it was obvious the fat-ass didn’t need anymore sausage.  Sadly, the employee had no response other than a quick glance at the floor.  (True story)  Also, they no longer carry the tempeh frito pie, which is what i went there to try!  BOO!  However, the guys at the counter said that I could request it’s reprise on Yelp because the owner follows religiously.  So, for all you veggies out there, go on and make that request!

You can oder by the pound, plate, or ala cart for all the meat items.  Note, the ribs are the first to go, always.  Both times I visited, they were out.  All the plates are under or $10.  Sides include (very spicy) beans, vinegar-based cole slaw, mayo potato salad, pickled jalepenos ($.35), white bread (racist), pickles and of course, sliced onion.  The sides are purchased by the pint, unless you get a plate, and the latter items are complimentary.  The drinks are semi over-priced, $2 for a Sweet Leaf, and $1 for soda and small bottled water. 

Here’s the kicker…ESPRESSO BBQ SAUCE!!!!!!  It’s homemade and very very tasty!  They also serve the usual sweet, hot, and pork sauces as well. 

If you’re ever in the area and have a couple of extra hours on hand and hungry belly, it’s definitely worth the wait.  Seating is family style around picnic tables, so you are sure to meet some interesting folk.  My favorite part?  Both times I was there it was about 11am and people were already drinking!  It’s BYOB, kids.  Come prepared! 

Happy Hump Day,

GBJ

 

First I will begin by saying that I am newly obsessed with The Great Outdoors Nursery and the cafe that also sits on the property, The Garden District.  I like to go for lunch because it’s right by my office and makes for a mini-vacay in the middle of my otherwise stressful (what a joke) day. 

My first visit was solely with plants in mind.  They have a wonderful selection of natives, herbs, annuals, perennials, statues, pottery, seeds, gifts, organic yard care – you name it!  Not to mention that the staff is positively splendid and knowledgable .

My first visit to the cafe was earlier this week.  I needed some rooting hormone for some rose clippings I acquired over the weekend, and I knew that I also wanted to try the cafe. 

I found the auxin (and subsequently a Spiderwort !!) and headed to the cafe for a vegetarian sandwich – humus, avocado, tomato, lettuce, onion, etc, on a fresh warm roll with provolone cheese.  Best of all?  It had no SPROUTS!  Fuck sprouts!  Salmonella and E.coli?  None for me, thanks!  The sandwich came with tortilla chips and a very fresh salsa and a free iced peach oolong tea – all for $7.10.  Not to mention that St. Edward’s students and staff get 10% off…as we should because we pay out the mother-fuckin nose for that shit!

Anyways, I need lunch today so I am going to go back and try out their self proclaimed “best empanadas in town”.  That’s pretty damn ballsy of them considering they are housed right next door to one of the only Cuban eateries in town.  Ok, maybe not so ballsy as Habana can suck my dick…that shit ain’t real Cuban food.

Also, when I was there earlier this week, the lady in the nursery informed me that they were supposed to be getting in a new shipment of Blue Mist (which attracts mad butterflies – especially the queens, monarchs, and snout nosed varieties) and milkweed, which is yet another bush to attract the flutterbys!  I need more plants like a need a new liver, er, i mean hole in the head, BUT….I just can’t stop myself.  I want to propagate some more too…spread the beauty of mother nature!

Happy “Little Friday”, readers!

xo,

GBJ

Update:  Me and the lunch time gang did indeed revisit the cafe today.  I could not be swayed from the veggie sandwich, but I did manage to try a beef empanada.  Best in town?  Not a chance.  None-the-less, it was good.  A bit too sweet for my liking, as I prefer my meat pockets to be savory, but it was good.  The lunch crowd agreed.  Best empanadas in my book are the empanada trailer that was downtown during SXSW, and Buenos Aires Cafe.  (Don’t get me started on their pasilla pepper/dark chocolate creme brulee…mmmmmm)

One last thing – a review of Franklin BBQ and Antonelli’s Cheese Shop will go live this weekend…I need to find the cord for the camera -> computer transaction.  meh.